Loss

My Mother died last month. October 25th, a beautiful sunny day that started out just the way I planned. My day started with my usual leisurely morning with the family, then I worked in the garden pruning, feeding and weeding. I came in for lunch, glanced at my phone. Several messages from my Aunt, and I knew...instantly that something had happened to my mother. My first thought was that she was in an accident, that she had wrecked her car and maybe hurt herself or someone else. I had a fleeting thought that maybe she had died. It would not be a surprise, in many ways.  My mother was a very ill woman. She suffered from mental illness, and addiction to pharmaceutical drugs, it consumed her over the last 25 years. I am not sure which came first, and I guess it doesn't really matter. What matters is that my mom died alone, isolated in her pain and addiction, having driven some many loved ones from her life. The last time I spoke to my mother was 3 years ago, and I told her I wanted no more contact with her.

I have been learning to overcome my anger towards my mother, and accept the sadness and hurt that I felt and covered up for so many years. So I think about the beautiful and outrageously funny woman that was my mom prior to my teens. The woman who encouraged me to try new foods, and to explore the world around me. The woman who dragged me through the streets of Florence, looking at churches, statues, and museums...and the opera! Oh, I did not want to go to the opera that night. I was in the 7th grade, and we were in Florence for a month. My mother dragged me, telling me "You will go, and you will like it if it kills you". So, of course I went. I loved it. We saw Aida in the open colosseum, at dusk everyone lit a candle and the place shined like a star. My mom opened doors for me, showed me that the world was to be lived in. For that I will always love her. I will never really understand what happened to my mom, why she was unable to make her way back to a healthy life. I can only live my life as best as I am able, like she taught me, in honor of her memory. Dear Mother, rest in peace. You are missed.

RAIN!

The first rains of the season have come and gone.  The temperature dropped, the clouds rolled in and the sky opened up. In 3 days our rain gauge indicated 4.5 inches.
Everyone I here is complaining that it is "too early", "we hardly had a summer, much less fall", or simply "I hate Humboldt County".
 I, on the other hand, am ready for the rain and wind.  Bring it on! I love the rain, especially in the early season when the trees are dropping the redwood needles, and everything is washed clean.
The sun is taking longer to come up in the morning, and it is dark at 7:30 in the evening. Soon we will have fires every night, crackling the warmth into our bones,  keeping the damp cold at bay.
Gus and I busted a move and got some much needed pre-winter mowing done yesterday.  Imagine my smug satisfaction when I woke around 3:30am to the sound of pouring rain. I have a feeling we made it in the last little window of "dry weather". Gus decided to take advantage of the rain by burning our pile of blackberry and ivy slash from earlier this summer. Although the pile is now reduced to ashes, I am afraid my neighbors are all pissed at us from the smoke we created.  Oh well. The fact that we have cleaned the wood stove pipes, the gutters are all cleared, and the firewood is stacked leaves me feeling prepared for winter now.  I am ready to hibernate!

Motivation

I have caught the motivation bug, finally!!! After months of being down for the count from my shoulder impingement, and subsequent decompression surgery, I am ready getting back into the groove.
I am not sure what clicked this time, but I have been on the move for a few weeks, and feeling good.
My injury, and then the surgery left me feeling low and dumpy. It is a horrible place to be, and yet every time I tried to climb out of the doldrums...I slipped back in to lethargy.

About a month ago I decided that I wanted to try swimming again, even though I am not a swimmer ( fancy myself more of a runner). I was thinking that it would be a good way to strengthen my arms, and maybe gently rehab my shoulder. So, I rejoined our local gym, and off I went. Gus seemed glad to have our membership re-upped as well.

Swimming has been great! I swim 3 times a week for a half an hour. I don't stop any more, just alternate from breaststroke (my primary stroke), to forward crawl and side stroke.  I am not swimming to set any record, just to feel my body glide through the water, feel my arms work, my legs move. It is awesome. On the days I don't swim before work, I decided to run on the dreadmill....knowing full well the likelihood of doing it after work is slim.  I feel better during the day if I work out early, and for some reason my eating habits reflect this. Food and exercise go hand in hand for me. Fueling the body you are working is important. It feels better, I FEEL BETTER.  And slowly, all the wieght I gained pre and post surgery starts to melt away. Motivation.

I recently decided to try the Step class offered, in an effort to keep thing interesting, and prevent homeostasis. It is great fun, and even though I am woefully out of step a fair portion of the time, I like it. I am going to go twice a week. Maybe I will catch on!

Motivation...I love it. I have not figured out what clicks for me, but I am sure glad it finally did.

Blackberries!!!!!

One of the benefits to living in Northern California is blackberry season.  In late August and early September there is an abundance of berries to be had...you only have to pick them.  It seems only fair, we do have an abundance of blackberry briar to contend with for the rest of the year. The stuff grows everywhere, whether you want it or not.

Yesterday we went in search of the bounty.  Our plan was to pick enough for a pie, and if we got lucky we would try for enough to make jam as well. Once we found our target location (that is a secret) we split up and began picking. It seems like this year is a late season, as there are still a lot of berries on the vine that are not ripened yet.  It also seems like a lot of people beat us to the "pick".  We managed to get a decent haul, about 5 quarts of fresh berries between the 3 of us.

The problem with berry picking is it is slightly addicting. It is hard to stop picking once you have started, and once you get home and have processed them...you want more. Of the berries we picked yesterday we had enough for a batch of jam, pie, and 2 bags of frozen berries for pies later this winter. I am already planning my next foray....if I can talk the friends into it maybe we will go this afternoon.

Spay and Neuter Your Pets, People!

Two weeks ago I spent my weekend catching cats.  It was not a relaxing, nor peaceful weekend. I was up in the early hours, heading down the hill in order to set the traps and bait them. I spent hours walking back and forth retrieving traps with cute fluffy and scared kittens, and extremely pissed of adult cats, and resetting new traps. On the first day I caught 2 adults for spaying, and vaccinating. I caught 6 kittens for (hopefully) taming, fostering and placing into homes. The second morning I caught 1 more adult, who subsequently was neutered, and vaccinated. It took me 2 more days of trapping to catch the last straggling kitten.

How did I come to spend my precious 2 days off doing this, you ask?  Well, my office has feral cats that my coworker has been feeding over the years. She loves these cats, and was worried hurting or scaring them.  So, when this latest batch of kittens popped up I finally convinced her to let me catch them for spay and neutering. After contacting the Humboldt Spay and Neuter Network to make arrangements for the cages, and coordinate pickups I had my plan.  For $35 per cat we would get a spay or neuter, rabies and distemper vaccination and deflea/deworming.  Each kitten would go to a foster home to try and get them used to human contact so they could get fostered.

It was an emotionally draining weekend. I felt bad for stressing out the adults, and scaring the babies.  I know, pragmatically, that it was the right thing, the best thing for the cats...but it still kind of sucked. Overall, it went pretty easy. The last kitten caused me a bit of angst when I thought about it all alone, without his brothers and sisters, so you can imagine my elation when I caught him and reunited him with his siblings.

I am done trapping now, and saw my contact for the cages the day she brought the adults back to be released. She brought 2 of the kittens so I could see them. She said they are all getting used to people and handling, including the last little guy. This makes me very happy.

Kindred Spirits

This is what I had laying across my legs while I sipped my morning latte.  Dewey loves to snuggle in the mornings before I get out of bed. It is his time.  He assures himself of this mommy and me time by pinning me so I am rendered helpless.  My legs are under there somewhere.

This morning after our coffee we went for a nice run at Clam Beach.  It is my favorite way to start the day.  Fresh air, long stretch of beach, happy dogs, and Gus and I stretching our legs.  We see many of the same people, and most of them have dogs.  This morning we saw the Bassett Hound and his owner, an older gentleman who runs to Little River and back.  We like him, mostly because we like his dog. We also saw the lady with the Icelandic pony.  Her pony is the coolest looking animal, and was instrumental in teaching Dewey that horses really are not that interesting. I could not tell you what most of the regulars look like if not for their animals. I recognize most people and name them according to what breed or species of animal they are with.  There is "Rottewieler lady", she has 2 giant Rotties that she runs with, but whenever she see's other dogs she leashes them, so when we get close to her, we leash out of respect. We always wave at each other. I assume she refers to us as the "Labrador family".  There are also the pug people, the large mastiff couple, and various others that I can't think of.  We think of these people and their dogs as kindred spirits.

Also, I am feeling better! (Obvious, since I went running I guess). The neti pot/sudafed quickly knocked out the cough, and I managed to keep it at bay all week by using the neti pot once daily. So back to a normal routine of being a healthy person.  Here's to staying that way!

Juice Fasting

In an effort to feel better I am juice fasting today. Thankfully my husband is in the mood to juice fast today as well.  It makes my chances of remaining steadfast that much stronger. Why would I want to fast,  you ask?? 

Well, I weaned myself off of the Prednisone yesterday after 2 weeks, and my body is left feeling sluggish, bloated and blah.  One of the horrible side effects of Pred is feeling ravenously hungry, and since I was also bored and depressed I ate, and ate. I woke up full this morning.

I know there are those who think fasting is not healthy.  I actually think it is good to do a 24 hour fast  every now and again.  I don't think it is healthy for me to go without nutrients, so juice fasting is a great way for me to accomplish a brief cleanse and still feel like I am feeding my body.  So for the next 24 hours I will be drinking water, herb tea and having some nice freshly juiced veggies and fruits.

Now, I know it will sound silly, but juicing is FUN for me.  I like mixing different vegetables and fruits together, and finding combinations that are good tasting, and have power packed nutrient values. The fact that my juicer ROCKS makes it that much more fun. My juicer juices everything! Spinach, tomatoes, carrots, oranges, even parsley or wheat grass.  Even the dogs benefit from juicing, although I am not sure they appreciate it as much as I would like.  I take the pulp from the carrots and apples and mix it in with their food.  They always eat it, and there is never any left over so I think they might actually "not hate it".  All the other left over pulps just go to the compost for the worms.  They never ever complain.

My juice plan for today:

Breakfast was a huge hand full of carrots, a hand full of spinach, 2 celery sticks, an apple, 1 lime, and 1 tomato all freshly squeezed.  Obviously carrots are full of beta carotene, as is the spinach. Spinach also is high in vitamin C and iron. Tomato is said to ease digestion. Celery is a good vegetable for cleansing as it has diuretic properties. The apple is to add a little sweetness, and it is also great for high vitamin and mineral content.  The lime is great for potassium, vitamin C, and if you get some of the pith in there, bioflavenoids.

Lunch may include half carrot half orange juice. Simple and delicious, one of my all time favorites.

Dinner juice will be similar to the breakfast, although I may add some parsley and  darker lettuces from the garden.  Lettuces have a soothing property that helps aid sleep. Parsley is chock full of chlorophyll and vitamins.  It actually tastes good in juice, too.

One of the most important parts is to drink plenty of water throughout the day!  So, cheers!